Some pages of a torn- diary (part 6)

(by alok nandan, dedicated to a Nightingale)
22 May
I was called for the interview by the Institute of Journalism. I went there and saw a big crowd of boys, girls and there parents. Interview was to be started. I was given my number and asked to wait. In a group some boys were discussing over reservation issue. I listened them without interference. After a little while my name was called out. When I entered into the hall, I saw five persons sitting around a round table. I was offered to sit. One of them asked me, '' Why do you want to be a journalist? '' I answered, ''Mussolini was a journalist in his early age, and I am highly influenced by him, so why I want to be a journalist.''
''Do you believe in fascism? You are a fascist?,'' he asked.
''I do not believe in any ism? I want to fight for the common people. And I think journalism is the best means.'' Then I was asked to leave the hall. I do not know what will happen next. I am just waiting for the result.

24 May
I have come in contact with ultra leaders of Hinduism. They have invited me in there Sakha (branch). I am thinking to go there. Aggressive Hinduism movement is growing fast in my country .In order to understand the fundamental base of this movement I am looking for some authentic books. I have been suggested to read Dr. Hedgewar and Golvelker as well as Savarkar. What is Hinduism? What is the objects of Hinduism? These are the natural questions arises in my mind. Let me struggle with these questions in my own ways.

27 May
I have bought some books regarding Hinduism and reading them keenly. And I have also joined there Sakha. They do physical exercises and show high devotion to nationality. They always talk about the unification of India, Bangladesh and Pakistan. Sometimes they talk to demolish Bangladesh and Pakistan. They want to impose their already made ideas in my mind. When I try to discuss about the fundamental nature of Hinduism they become furious. How can I tolerate them? My mind is open for all the blowing cold and hot winds of the world. How I can allow them to impose their already made cooks? They are abusing Ambedakar, and I am going to read Ambedaker. He was the chairman of draft committee of the Constituent Assembly of Indian. I am not a blind man. I want to see the world through my own eyes.

29 May
I have taken admission in the Institute of Journalism. It was my first day. The administration of the Institute provided me I-card and all the related documents and I was asked to sit in the class. It was an interesting morning. When I entered into the class, I got there more than fifty students. A young professor, he is a well-known journalist, started teaching us. He was delivering his lecture about the history of journalism. After fifteen minutes I realized I could deal the topic far better than him. I stood up and asked the professor to allow me to teach the class. He was surprised to listen me. All the students looked to me. One of them supported me. He told the journalist to leave the place and requested me to come forward. Then I started teaching them. I explained very well about the history of journalism. All the students enjoyed my lecture very much. Meanwhile the professor left the class and went to the head of the Institute. The head came and asked me to take my place and he himself started teaching. Later he warned me, ''Mussolini, it is Indian, not Italy, so be careful in future.'' Now I have been a very popular personality among all students, I am enjoying this popularity. All the girl students are attracted to me. They want to talk to me. Perhaps my public life has started as young revolutionary man.

1 June
I always sit on the second bench in the class-room. A Muslim girl always sits besides me. She is a very tall and beautiful girl. I feel the charming smells of her body, and she knows it. Every day she changes the scents and I wait for this changing. She loves America too much and has a dream to go there one day. Although she does not talk to me directly but has an eagle eye to me. She changes her scent and I change my book everyday. In the class-room I read only journalistic books. Today I have finished ''Justice'' by kuldeep Naiyar. In this book he has written about the dark era of Indira Gandhi. The period of Emergency has been dealt in this book. He thinks that Sanjay Gandhi was the sole reason behind the emergency. After the emergency congress government was washed out from the North- Indian.

2 May
I am reading ''Professional Journalism'' By M. V Kamath. For fundamental knowledge of journalism it is a good book. The book deals the fundamental question of journalism –What is news ? –very well. When a dog bites a man, it is not news, when a man bites a dog, it is news. A student of journalism must read this book. In this book one will get all the technical words of journalism, and I am sure his news sense will develop. Two students are more interesting in the class room. Every day they come in the class after taking two or three pegs. Sometimes they drink in the class-room. One is very shot and other is very tall. The short fellow always tells, ''Without drinking, no one can be a great journalist.'' He seems like a devil.

3 May
There is a poetess in our class. She is a fan of most famous lyricist Niraj, better to say she is mad behind him. She has written a lot of poetries and always tries to recite them before the students. Her father is a well-known journalist. She is attracted to a romantic professor, who touched us news. He, too, is a well-known journalist and writer. He smokes too much and do not mind to offer it to his students. A group of students has become his great fan. Every day I come in the class room before all the students and on the black board a write a quotations of some great thinkers and men of action. Mostly I write Hitler's quotation. I have given a new name by our classmates ------''The wrath of Indian.''

5 May
Two girls in the class room are trying to make friendship with me. They are close friends and always live together. One is healthy and has round face. She is ultra modern and has a convent back ground while the other is short and looks like a village girl.The modern girl was asking about my zodiac sign. She tells me that she is a Leo. She is very impulsive and talks frankly to the boys. The village girl's mother is a teacher. She has yellow eyes, and I has read in '' the Kamsutara'' that the woman who has yellow eyes believes in multiple relationship and never mind to change her man partner frequently. I am constantly watching her.One day she tells me, ''in this class-room no boy has courage to take me up'' I do not understand the meaning of her words. Today both of them asked me to show them my best place in the city. Two other boys also joined them. A team of five members went to the bank of Ganges. When I saw the water I felt a strong desire to jump into it. All of them were sitting and chatting while I was swimming in the river. When I came out of the river, the round face girl gave me her Chunari (a clothe to cover the upper front part of a young woman). When I was washing my body with her chunari, I felt the warmth of her heart.

7 May
I have started reading ''Das Capital''by Marx. Its terminology is very hard to understand, but I am struggling hart with it. The two parts of the book has been written by Marx but the third one has been written and edited by his friend Engle. I love Engle more than Marx. Both Marx and Engle have explored a new world before me. There scientific approach to the history is excellent. Now I think that I understand Europe and its social, political, economical, religious and cultural set-up very well, at lest according to the scientific point of views. A new word ''surplus Value'' has been given by Marx. I am very much interested in his earlier life and get some excellent poetries written by Marx for his wife Jena before marriage. Jena was a wonderful lady. Marx was very lucky. I am sinking deep into the world of communism. It is interesting that one side I am reading communist literature and the other side I am going to a Sakha of fundamental Hindu organization. I am going through thesis, antithesis and synthesis process. I think my own worldview is being created.

9 May
Marx, Lenin, Engle, Jena, Krupskay, Hitler, Mussolini, Gandhi, Neharu, Sucrates, Aristotle, and many more come every night in my Omen and they discuss about the world's problem. They are very much comfortable in my hut. All are concentrated to me, They want me to follow there respective ideas and actions. I just listen them and ask them to convince me. My nights are more interesting than the my days. I have bought costly wine, cigret, cigar, tea and coffee for them. Hitler likes milk so every night I bring milk for him. Gandhi has a very humanistic approach while Marx is determined to change the whole system through a bloody revolution. Whole night they fight in my Omen, and I enjoy their discussion. I know I am in state of hallucination, but who cares? It is a great hallucination, and I love it. I am thinking seriously to meet a psychiatrist, all the big thinkers are trying to kidnap my mind. They are making too much noise. Let me enjoy these tremendous nights with all the world's leaders.

Note : I am constantly struggle hard to read out more and more pages of the diary. Wait for more.


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